I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse. Choose life, then. Deuteronomy 30:19
Prayer to See the Things that I can’t
It is frustrating when I cannot see what you are doing. I feel sometimes as if I am swimming in an ocean with no view of the shore. Your plan is a mystery, but I know that if I ask and pay attention, you will reveal what I need to know. Help me to keep my focus on you.
In Jesus Name, Amen
My son Collin has ADHD. This was apparent since he was two. It was frustrating for me as a mother because no matter which way I parented him, his behavior would remain the same. Thank God for us, he had the sweetest disposition and the heart of St. Francis. This made him a lovable child, but not everyone felt that way.
I was nine months pregnant and several days before my delivery when I got stopped after school by Collin’s pre-K teacher.
Can I speak with you please?
Never a good sign…
I stood at the door of her classroom.
Your son is autistic. You need to get him tested. He has terrible behavior. Do you even read to him?
Yes of course I read to him. What are you even talking about?
And here is the soul-scar in the making…
Maybe if you didn’t work, paid more attention to him he would be doing better. He needs to be in a school for special needs children.
I did not hear anything after that
The conversation pierced me in places I didn’t even know existed. Did she have a poster handed to her that contained all of my greatest weaknesses?
My struggle with infertility, working mom guilt syndrome, Collin’s disability.
Stick me in a corner while I hide from the world.
Her comments could have been the death of me, but they were not.
They were the life of me
After some choice words and a good cry I made some incredibly difficult but life changing decisions. I pulled my twins out of that preschool just days before I was set to deliver my third child. I found a place where Collin would thrive. And every night for hours, I would sit with him and laser focus on his reading skills. It was painful, but worth it. And in a couple of months, not only did I teach Collin how to read, but he was reading past his grade level.
I wasn’t doing it to prove the teacher wrong,
I was doing it to prove God right.
Going into the second grade, Collin was tested for gifted. The test results were clear, his IQ was high. While the teacher scolded him and had her own assessment of who he was, God had different plans.
I had, along the way, escaped to my closet to seek my Father in prayer to ask him about my son.
Father, is it true?
And God laughed.
Through my tears, He reminded me of who Collin was. That I, like Hannah, had been blessed by His mighty hand with the children of His making. Once infertile, I now had three. He reminded me of the great plan that He had for Collin and that one day I would see the work of his hands.
My son is now 10 and in the gifted program. He serves as an usher at our church. He reads at a level far beyond his age. He wants to be a missionary priest.
He still has ADHD.
The hiddenness of God’s hand has been manifested in my son. The teacher left him on the side of the road with the refuse. God left him with a crown.
“God chose those whom the world considers absurd to shame the wise; He singled out the weak of this world to shame the strong. He chose the world’s lowborn and despised, those who count for nothing, to reduce to nothing those who were something. “ 1 Corinthians 1:27-28
What or who is the hidden gem in your life? Are you staring right at it and not even realizing that it is there? Have you gone in secret and behind closed doors to your Heavenly Father to ask about it? Today choose life. God did.