Day 17- The Monastic Mile

“We too must be like other nations, with a king to rule us and to lead us in warfare and fight our battles.”  1 Samuel 8:20

Dear Lord,

I pray a lot and ask for things that I think are best for me. In my humanness, I often forget that I really don’t know what is best for me. Help me Lord to trust your perfect plan, your son and your Holy Spirit.

In Jesus name, Amen

Sometimes we have to go it alone. Miles that feel long. Feet hurt. Endless days. Decisions can be like walks in the deserts and years can feel never- ending. We become engulfed in the media cycle, social, news, and otherwise. Days turn into nights. Cycles repeat themselves. Before long, we are wanting for the world instead of God. Materialism, popularity and praise. We gave forgotten the God of the desert and asked for a God of the noise. But God is not a God of chaos. He is not in the earthquake of events, He is a whispering voice. 

I began working on a project last year that brought me to another city. The project was God-led and God-driven. It appeared on its own and out of nowhere. God had chosen me to take his son several hundred miles away.

Travel got me out of my comfort zone. I found myself in unexpected places and with unexpected people. I wouldn’t back down from the project that I knew was divine.

When you are sent, you are in the will of God.

One trip led to another and then another. Things looked bad, but I knew God was good. I pressed on, persisted, fought and ultimately won. I was laser focused on mission and entrenched in faith.

But the events surrounding the message I was to carry overtook me. God won, but I was won over by the city. I began discerning a move there based on the movement and direction that I felt God was leading me towards. I was excited and prepared to leave everything, once again, to chase a dream.

But when are the dreams ours and when are they God’s?

Where is that line of flesh verses spirit?

Do our dreams overtake us to the point that we drown out God’s voice and will in our lives?

One thing led to another and through much prayer and discernment I realized that God was not calling me to move, He was calling me to mission. I realized that sometimes we get carried away, so entrenched in that divine thing that we leave God’s voice trailing off in the background somewhere.

We are simply torchbearers

Missions end, vocations do not. I realized that God would never give me a mission that would overtake my role as a wife and mother. I realized that I didn’t want another King besides Jesus.

Today, as you are discerning a decision- a career move, a decision in your daily life, ask yourself these questions: Was this generated from me or from God? Will this interfere with my vocation in any way as a mother, father, wife or husband? Have I allowed the world to influence my decision, or have I allowed the Spirit to take the lead?

These questions will and should lead to your King, Jesus Christ.


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