“My time is not yet here, but the time is always right for you.” John 7:6
“The school of Christ is the school of love. In the last day, when the general examination takes place…Love will be the whole syllabus.”
-St. Robert Bellarmine
My husband always tells me to stop worrying about God’s plan. We often talk about God’s providence late at night, after the day is done and the kids have gone to bed. In my moments of private worry, Shlomi is my strength. His calm and uncomplicated demeanor allow me to be my anxious and complicated self.
We all have a way about us in the Lord, and Shlomi and I are no different. Prior to the pandemic, we had a wonderful conversation that has proven to be providential. The conversation centered around how God created us to know Him and to know each other, to respect one another’s relationship with God, flaws and all.
I was appreciative of my husband’s acceptance that my mind was just a complicated place, as many intellectual types often are. I told him that over time, I had come to accept this, that it was not for lack of trust in God but instead was the way God made me to know Him, the way I was able to communicate with God.
I spend hours in the morning before the sun rises reading my bible, praying and just being with our Lord. And oftentimes when I have worked myself into an hours frenzy, I come to my husband with my scriptural conundrum in tears. What does this mean babe? He always has an answer. It is simple, and loving. And for the many hours that I put into study, Shlomi is able to answer my question in a split second.
Now for those that know my husband, you know he is not a reader. He does not like meditations or bible studies or long convoluted theology. If I am enjoying a particularly wonderful piece of religious work, chances are Shlomi will not.
We reflected on this the other night- how he is the recipient of all of my study, my theology reading and bible prowess. How I am able to condense for him three hours worth of my contemplative knowledge into only a several minute snippet. He is appreciative of my work and often shares it with others, especially those who share his same hatred of reading and complication. And I am happy to provide him with all that I’ve learned so he can understand it in a way that touches his heart and makes sense to him.
We came to the conclusion that while I speak another language, he is able to interpret it. And while in the past, we did not know how to navigate through each other’s gifts, we do now. What once was a stumbling block for us that caused so much argument is now one of the greatest gifts that God has ever given us.
Shlomi has come to understand that this is the way that God made me, constantly questioning, searching and diving deeper into an ocean with no bottom. He sees that my job is intertwined with God’s heart, and the two cannot be separated. He is accepting of my anxiety, my fears and my faith.
In the same way, I have come to appreciate his ability to look at things in the most simplistic manner. His uncanny knack for not reading a word but yet knowing everything about it. His candor, sarcasm and ability to make me laugh about my complicated self, and His love for me despite my go hard or go home attitude.
While our time is ticking away, and we have so much more of it, take the time this Lent to really get to know your spouse. Take all those flaws that you find in each other and make them diamonds, search for them in the caves and caverns of your heart. Ask God to show you those things that you do not accept or like about your spouse and turn them into treasures. Accept your spouse for who and what they are because God made them that way.
A Catholic marriage is not about the other fulfilling you, it is about you fulfilling them, as you are also fulfilling your vocation
As you move towards your spouse’s soul and not away, you will feel the divine energy, the pulse of the earth, the connection of two halves fulfilled in God’s glory.
As Jesus said in the scripture today, the time is always right for you, and the time is right now. So pray that God opens up your mind to the person that is right in front of you. This is His will for you. This is where divine love begins.
Love you Shlomi