Day 106- The Silent Retreat Mile

The Fruit of Day One of my silent retreat.

God is in my Typewriter

Photography courtesy of Kim Stalker ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

“They devoted themselves to the teaching of the apostles and to the communal life, to the breaking of bread and to the prayers.” Acts 2:42

Our numbers differ. Our time differs in which we see the light. One of my brethren at onthepilgrimroad, Phillip, mentioned that our time is designed by God. Now he may have not said it exactly in that way, but he did tell me that day that one- hundred- and- six may not in fact be God’s day one -hundred -and- six for me, but that I should keep at it, keep going, and he was right.

Enter the silent retreat.

Kicking and screaming I went but gently into God’a arms. Where are you taking me? Where are we going? Is it enough that you have removed me from everywhere I have loved. And then I remembered…

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Where is the whole world?

All, Some further discussion and I am questioning everything. This is good. Last night I had a dream that I was vying for a political job and I was sitting around a table with some very important people, none of which I recognized. I was wearing a bracelet with a cross on it, an old …

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Day 105- The Blooming Mile

Sit by the tomb with Mary…

God is in my Typewriter

“Mary Magdalene stayed outside the tomb weeping.” John 20:11

When the other disciples returned home, Mary did not. Attached to her Lord and overcome by grief, Mary stayed weeping by the tomb. Unable to remember the scriptures or unaware of them in that moment, she was consumed by her feelings of loss and loneliness. The one who had saved her, who had made her new was now gone. And she left with this new life in Him, was alive in her skin but dead in her soul, dependent on Him for every breath of her life. 

Mary’s weeping is the loneliness we feel in our sorrow and grief when we know the truth but are overcome by human emotion. We, like Mary, can choose in those moments to stay outside the tomb and wait for Him or take our sorrow into the world where it will quickly be tossed…

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Day 104- The Mile I left the tomb

Today, leave the tomb

God is in my Typewriter

“And behold, Jesus met them on their way and greeted them. They approached, embraced his feet, and did him homage.” Matthew 28:9

Two minutes before, the women were still at the tomb, afraid. The lover of their soul was not there, and they experienced a mix of fear and joy like never before. A healthy and reverent fear of God mixed with the joy of Easter, knowing that everything was about to change.

Easter was not spent at a temple or a church, it was spent at a tomb

Empty, cold and lifeless. And the first Easter included only two women, unknown to the world, and without titles or fame. Yet the Lord chose them as His resurrection disciples, why? To show the world that He chooses the weak things of this world to shame the wise. That forever and in eternity these women will  be known, loved, and adored…

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Day 103- The Resurrection Mile

We are an Easter people! Come find God with me at the break of dawn, when light is sparse but visible.

God is in my Typewriter

“On the first day of the week, Mary of Magdala came to the tomb early in the morning,while it was still dark, and saw the stone removed from the tomb”

John 20:1

While we still lie in darkness, while the earth lies in gloom, we slowly slip away to visit the place where our Lord is buried, to marvel with Mary of Magdala, at the stone that had been rolled away with wonderment and awe. The earth is heavy, but the heavenly grave is not, filled with hope and the anticipation of a new day. In the darkness, we are with her, tears and smiling, knowing that we do not have to see His body to believe in His resurrection. The emptiness testifies to it, that is where He is.

In the thickest of fog and dark night of the soul is the voice of our Lord. He…

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Day 102- The Mile I thirst

Poetic injustice…

God is in my Typewriter

I thirst…

I miss everything about the Eucharist.

Its free grace. The ease on my tongue. Your love wrapped in it.

The way You hold me when I do not deserve it. 

The entryway to heaven. The gift of peace. The song of redemption.

In all this, I long for you O Lord.

On my knees, I am empty. You are not there.

When I cry out to you, you are not there.

Your body is a song, and I cannot hear the lyrics.

My love seems empty and cold.

I long for you to hold me in your embrace.

My Father, where are you?

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Born of a Spiritual exercise taken from Father Dan’s 3 p.m Good Friday homily. Watch it here.

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Day 101- The Mile I found Jesus

Why did He have to come? Ask Him yourself…

God is in my Typewriter

“But Peter stood at the gate outside.” John 18:16

Omission is just as bad as commission. Looking on or acting on. Looking away or looking towards. Our gaze determines our infidelity- where are we looking now?

One of my most beautiful and precious friends asked me this profound question yesterday, “why did He have to come?”

Of course she knew the answer to that question, but asked me from a Judaic perspective. I had to sit with that question for awhile as I made a pathetic attempt at an answer. But all I could muster up was my story.

I told her that in my own journey, my initial seeking after God became more religious in nature- wanting to keep kosher, keep the shabbos and invest myself in all of the Jewish regulations. The more I tried, the more I failed.  And in any event, as a woman, I would…

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Day 100- The Mile I stopped to wash your feet

Do not wait for someone else to do it. Serve them yourselves

God is in my Typewriter

“Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.”

St. Teresa of Calcutta

It is a concept that Mother Teresa touted but was little understood by the masses.  Person to person interaction. The act of one. 

Although the culture lifts up Mother Teresa as a demi-god, her heart is often misunderstood. Her lessons are deeper and more profound then simply serving the poor and the dying.

Her heart was for the dignity of the human person. The right to die with love. And the understanding that we are all poor and dying, each of us in our way.

As a young Jewish girl, Mother Teresa’s impact on my life was profound and I invested in her philosophy of servitude and deep love. In her acts of kindness and humility, I found the God of love, and unconsciously my soul opened up when it contemplated service to others.

As…

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Day 99- The Truthful Mile

The truth is deep and wide and difficult. But it is still the truth.

God is in my Typewriter

“What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?” Matthew 26:15

Say it. Say it as if you said it. Because you did. You betrayed God.

When you weren’t kind. When you were unforgiving. When you decided to follow only three of the ten commandments  because that is what is convenient for you. You’ve deemed it ok. You’ve played God.

“What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?”

What about supporting abortion.  You’ve decided that it was ok to take a life. You continue to support abortion.  You’ve deemed it ok. You’ve played God.

“What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?”

Your husband or your wife do not make you happy anymore. You’ve decided to leave. You have found another partner even before you are divorced.  You’ve deemed it ok. You’ve played…

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